Children are always aware when there is a problem with an addict in the house. Be it a sibling or a parent, even toddlers can feel tension and unhappiness even if parents manage to shield them from the shouting matches and bouts of crying. Pretending that nothing is wrong is as bad for the kids in the house as it is for you and the addict. Explaining what's going on in terms that they understand is the best way to communicate the meaning of addiction to your kids.

Listen

Children need the room to talk and tell you how they feel. Don't assume that you know what they are going through. Let them tell you first. Ask them

Keep It Simple

Most likely, your children are worried and sad about the problems at home. They may even feel guilty, rejected, scared or embarrassed. Your goal in communicating to them should focus on their feelings rather than on the specifics of addiction and the addict. Key points that should be made include:

• You love them
• The addict loves them
• The meaning of addiction
• None of the fights are their fault
• It's okay to have the feelings that they are feeling
• These problems are normal; other families have these problems, too
• They don't have to "fix" the addict
• They can always come to you for anything

Treatment and Recovery

You may decide that a support group is necessary to help you and your children deal with the trauma of living with an addict or alcoholic. There are many to choose from including Families Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Alateen. Let your children know that whether or not the addict gets better, they can feel better by expressing their feelings and taking each day as it comes.