In families of alcoholics, the focus is most often on the alcoholic and his or her problems and no one else. As a result, other members of the family define themselves in relation to the alcoholic and a codependent situation can result.

What is Codependency?

Codependency describes the unhealthy behaviors that develop when people adapt to the dysfunctional life of the alcoholic. Codependent individuals tend to base their actions and feelings on the needs of the alcoholic, often failing to meet their own needs or serve their best interest.

Pinpointing Codependency Within a Family

If there is an alcoholic in the family, very often others who make it okay for the alcoholic to continue drinking destructively are codependent. A few characteristics of codependents include:

• Decisions are based on pleasing the alcoholic.
• Decisions are based on protecting the alcoholic.
• Self-esteem is based on the alcoholic's acceptance.
• Obsession with the actions of the alcoholic and the effects of their drinking.
• Denial of the extent of the alcoholic's problem
• Mood changes that mimic the mood of the alcoholic.
• Irrational and violent behavior in reaction to the alcoholic's use.
• Feelings are hidden rather than dealt with.

Codependents exhibit many of the symptoms of dependency that the alcoholic displays but in reaction to the disease instead of as a result of the disease.

Support for Families of Alcoholics

Much like the alcoholic, family members can get the support they need to recover from the alcoholic's disease and their issues with codependency in the form of a support group. A number of organizations exist with the sole purpose of assisting the families of alcoholics recover from codependency. A few of these organizations include:

• Families Anonymous – FA is a 12-step program for family members of alcoholics.
• Alcoholics Anonymous – Al-Anon is a 12-step program for anyone affected by an alcoholic.
• Alateen – A 12-step recovery program for teenagers affected by alcoholic family members.
• Adult Children of Alcoholics – A support group for adults who grew up with alcoholic parents.
• National Association for Children of Alcoholics – An informational group providing resources for children with alcoholic parents.